All That I Am Today
(A ministry for THIS moment)
"Offering everything we are to the Lord."
writing by South Dakota author BJ Reese
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THE SIN IN MY SORROW​
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Have you ever noticed what happens when you realize you’ve had several great days in a row? You know the kind: everything is humming along smoothly, your loved ones seem to have their lives working, and you find yourself in a perpetually AWESOME mood. It seems like as soon as you notice it, the whole thing begins to unravel.
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Sometime during the night of June 21, 2015, my older sister, Barb, went Home to the Lord. Her passing was not unexpected – she’d been ill for months, and she was very tired. While visiting her in May, I said my good-byes, just in case. I made sure to say what I needed to – to thank her for all she’d done for me since our Mom died 16 years ago. My brother and I both suspected her time on Earth was nearing its end.
Still, the news was devastating when it came. Barb was my best friend, my confidante, my conspirator, and my cheerleader. We shared the same warped sense of humor and sarcasm. Now, her voice had been silenced. I faced a time in my life without her. I also came face-to-face with the reality that I am now the eldest member of my family. I was sure I wasn’t ready for that! I tried telling myself that God must think I’m ready. He wouldn’t have called her Home if I still needed her.
A couple of days after Barb died, my sorrow was compounded by the early symptoms of an oncoming cold (or flu, or something). Wednesday night, a phone call from my niece revealed a heartbreaking rift between her and one of her siblings. I did my best to sound supportive, suppressing my own thought about her anger. By bedtime, my neck ached and I felt ill.
The next morning, my voice was gone. I jokingly told myself I’d strained my vocal chords holding my tongue. With my energy level low and my ability to focus gone, I accomplished very little over the next two days. As the weekend approached, I prayed that God would heal me in time for church on Sunday.
Saturday morning, during my prayer time, I seemed to turn a corner . . . but the apparent cause was a surprise. As I sat there talking with God, I shared more of my feelings with Him about the sorrow I felt over Barb’s death. Suddenly, I stood face-to-face with my own sin.
I had given in to fear. I had allowed worry and anxiety to take up residence in my heart. Heartbroken over my sister’s passing, I was terrified about how I would go on without her. Who would fill in that gap in my life? If I’d allowed these emotions to move in, that could mean only one thing: I had stopped trusting God.
Realizing the magnitude of that mistake, I immediately began asking God’s forgiveness. I also asked for the ability to lay these things at the Cross and leave them there. As the deep ache in my lungs began to ease, I heard more. I sat dumbstruck as God convicted me of violating a commandment . . .
He revealed to my heart the awful truth. I wasn’t just upset over the rift between my nieces. I was also angry . . . because I envied them! I was jealous! THEY each had a sister to share life with and they were wasting it! I realized I was furiously jealous of them for having each other. As soon as I realized this and owned it, I felt different.
While asking God’s forgiveness, I noticed the weight on my lungs lift. The tightness in my throat eased, and an old friend returned. For the first time in days, I felt the Joy of the Holy Spirit take up residence in my heart. I felt like ME again!
The truth of what had happened hit me like a ton of bricks. In my sorrow over my sister’s death, I had listened to the enemy’s torments and taunts, instead of trusting God’s promises. In the process, I’d made myself sick. I’d sacrificed my voice for a lie. This is an easy trap to fall into when sorrow enters our lives. When disappointment pile up, it’s easy to lose our way. We can save ourselves a lot of anguish – and physical discomfort – by remembering on vital truth. When life is at its hardest . . . when pain and sorrow, and disappointments are surrounding us . . . those are the times we need God the most. Lean on Him even harder in the dark times, and He will turn on the lights. The darkness cannot stay in His presence.
Psalm 23 reminds us: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want . . .” and promises us that “. . . thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me . . .” If we cling tightly to that promise, God will wash away all the sin in our sorrows.
To His Glory . . . BJ
UNDER ATTACK​
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Have you ever noticed what happens when you realize you’ve had several great days in a row? You know the kind: everything is humming along smoothly, your loved ones seem to have their lives working, and you find yourself in a perpetually AWESOME mood. It seems like as soon as you notice it, the whole thing begins to unravel.
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It starts simply enough. Some little thing upsets you. For me, it can be as simple as realizing I’ve misplaced some paper or note I want to review. That can be all it takes to begin to throw me off balance. While I’m obsessing over the missing paper, there seems to be a snowball effect. You’ve probably seen it, too.
A minor upset spawns other things that add to your sense of imbalance and loss of focus. It may be something you heard on the news, or a comment someone made to you. Maybe your car broke down or an appliance suddenly stopped working. An unexpected expense threatens to unravel your carefully planned budget. Or word of a loved one’s problems takes a stab at your heart. Whatever it is that starts the ball rolling, it soon seems like your string of ‘great’ days might be over.
We’ve all experienced this scenario at one time or another in our lives. If we are honest with ourselves, it’s happened more than once. The most recent example of this ‘phenomenon’ in my life began a few months ago – shortly after I released my new book.
Once the book came back from the printer’s, I found myself existing in a state of pure joy. The sense of peace and happiness I felt were beyond anything I could ever describe. There was no doubt in my mind that only God could have created such a feeling. For weeks, everything I encountered was met with the glorious peace that comes from knowing that He was in charge of my life.
Then, I noticed a subtle change taking place. Tiny doubts would creep into my mind about seemingly minor things. Or, I’d find myself worrying about things that haven’t bothered me in years. Fear would pop up out of nowhere. After a few days of this, I realized what was going on.
I had once read a statement that stuck with me: “Every time you begin a work for God, Satan sends a storm.” When that thought crossed my mind again, I recognized how it fit what was happening to me. My new book had been dedicated to God. I had lifted it up to Him, to use in whatever way He chose to. When it was finished, I collapsed into absolute surrender over its journey. The result was the most powerful state of joy and peace I’ve ever felt in my life. It was like being wrapped up in joy – as though it was a physical, palpable thing.
That kind of glorious light and power must be frustrating to the enemy. It seemed I could feel his frustration in my daily life. It came in the form of persistent, relentless attempts to wriggle his way in, where he could pull me away from God. Whatever God’s plan for this book was, it must be huge – and amazing – because the enemy was working REALLY hard to pull me away from Him, and away from that peace. Whenever one attempt failed, he would try something else.
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When I felt fear creeping in, I ran to God with it, asking for strength and protection from the attack and the return of His Peace. Once that “hole” was plugged up, I felt doubt slithering in through another small gap in my armor. I handled that the same way, crying out to my Father for help and reinforcement. Then came worry; sadness; regret; and offense, each in its own turn. Each trying to shatter my faith and tear me away from God.
In truth, this sort of thing happens in all of our lives every day. And the more devoted we are to God – to walking with Him – the harder the enemy tries. Scripture told us this would happen. It also told us where to find solace:
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“These things I have spoke to you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation:
but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” ~ John 16:33
Therefore, in order to overcome the attack, run swiftly and consistently to the one place you will feel safe. The one place where Peace ALWAYS exists. Turn to God. Lift those troubles to Him. Give Him all those negative, destructive emotions. Since our Lord has already overcome this world, He knows just how to protect us from it. Through Him, we can survive ANY attack the enemy launches.
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To His Glory . . . BJ
LIMITATIONS?
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When I’m feeling tired and sluggish, I tell myself I can’t do (whatever ). When my legs or ankles are sore, I avoid the 10 daily trips down my cellar stairs that are intended to strengthen my legs. When my arthritic wrist flares up in pain, many household chores don’t get done. All of us do this in some area of life.
Every day of our lives, it seems, our flesh tells us there’s some thing we can’t do. All around us are images or messages that remind us of our limitations. As we buy into those lies, we back off . . . slow down. We stop trying. We begin to accept “we can’t” as a truth, and it impacts many aspects of our lives.
Encountering difficulty in a particular class in school, we stop giving it our best effort. Unwilling to apply the necessary discipline, we fail repeatedly to develop a consistent exercise and fitness program. Not wanting to give up our favorite snacks, we don’t follow healthy eating habits. Whatever the limitation is, we place it on ourselves. And we do so with a single message – one we play over and over again: “I can’t.”
This is a statement we hear often in our everyday lives. Many times, we hear it in regard to simple, everyday things. Throughout our society, it is accepted as an axiom (a universal truth). However, if we consult the Bible, we find an entirely different truth. Matthew 19:26 tells us God’s truth about limitations: “. . . with God all things are possible.”
In this verse, Jesus is speaking to His disciples about salvation, and who can be saved. But this passage has come to be used to encourage people in times of challenge or frustration. It is used to inspire them to keep trying . . . to turn to God for help in achieving that which seems impossible.
I was prompted to write this specific column after watching a video on facebook. My son, Tony, was home visiting, and we got into a conversation about typewriters. Even though our focus was how hard they are to type on if you’re accustomed to a computer keyboard, the topic reminded Tony of something entirely different. When he referenced this video – thinking he’d shown it to me – I told him I hadn’t seen it. So, he pulled it up for me to watch.
The screen popped to life with amazing artwork images. Portraits of famous people. Animals. Houses. Magnificent landscapes. Historical landmarks. Even replicas of famous paintings like the Mona Lisa and The Last Supper. As I listened to the narration, I watched an elderly gentleman sit at a typewriter and work. According to the narrator, he was born with severe Cerebral Palsy and his motions are severely limited. Now, in his later years of life, he lives in an Oregon nursing home. Using only the ten character keys in the top row of the keyboard, he “paints pictures”; creating images like the beautiful ones the camera kept showing. A close-up showed # signs making up the details of the Mona Lisa’s face.
With his physical movements intensely limited by his condition, he discovered his unique gift as a child. Today, he’s still at it, and the home he lives in proudly displays his work in the halls. As I watched, I thought of all the times I’ve fallen short of some task or achievement because of some self-imposed limitations. Here was this man who could have easily resigned himself to sitting and doing nothing, making the very most of every moment. In the process, he was creating amazing “paintings” . . . using a simple typewriter. Certainly, he is a startling confirmation of what we read in Philippians 4:13:
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
Perhaps it’s time each of us stepped outside of our own minds. Every day, at the first sign of being “stuck” or “hung up”, we should take a moment to reflect upon this simple, straightforward verse. We need to think hard, and find that limiting statement which is holding us back. Then, we need to denounce it once and for all. In its place, we should repeat the simple encouragement found in this verse. If we did that every day, we may soon discover that we don’t feel so limited, after all.
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To His Glory . . . BJ
WHO DRIVES YOUR BUS?​
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Remember riding the school bus when you were a kid? Okay, maybe you didn’t ride a bus to school. Perhaps you’ve taken a trip on one of those tour buses instead. Or ridden a city transit bus at some time or another. Even if you haven’t had ANY of these experiences, surely there’s been a time when you were a passenger in a vehicle driven by someone else.
Think about that experience for a moment. You’re riding along, watching the scenery go by. The person driving is making all the decisions needed to deliver you safely to your destination. All you have to do is relax and enjoy the ride.
But what would happen if you did more than just sit there? You’re in a hurry, so you reach down and press on the gas pedal. Or, you panic over something you see and stomp down on the brake. The driver isn’t operating the bus to suit you, and you start playing with the steering wheel, the turn signals, or the switch that opens the door. What affect would any of these actions have on the driver’s ability to keep you safe?
Of course, that’s not a hard question to answer. Any of those behaviors could have devastating consequences. They would interfere with the driver’s ability to operate the bus safely. They could easily prevent him from delivering you to your destination.
When my sons were growing up, our local Pennsylvania community saw exactly what can happen when a passenger interferes with the driver’s operation of a vehicle. A group of recent high school graduates were traveling down a country road. Something startled the young lady riding in the front passenger’s seat and she grabbed the steering wheel. The result was a dreadful crash in which the young lady died. All because she stopped trusting the driver to properly operate the car.
How often do we “grab the wheel” as we walk through our daily lives? We’re plodding along, trying to put one foot in front of the other and get through our day. Somewhere in our mind is an issue we’ve been struggling with. We’ve asked God’s Help with that issue. Asked Him to take it over and handle it for us. We SAID we trusted Him to do this.
Later, our mind trips over that same problem once again. It invades our thoughts during some quiet time, and we find ourselves focusing on it intently. Helpless to turn our thoughts away, we realize something. It STILL hasn’t been dealt with! What is God doing? Why hasn’t this already been taken care of? Frustrated and impatient, we start trying to figure out our own solutions. We begin taking actions of our own choosing, in an effort to get it “fixed” faster.
It comes as no surprise that this method doesn’t work very well. Like the young lady in the car, we make the problem worse. It gets bigger and more complicated, and we end up even further from a solution than we were before. Sometimes, the result of our interference is just as disastrous as that day on that Pennsylvania country road. This adds to our confusion. “Doesn’t God help those who help themselves?” we wonder. “I thought He’d work faster if I did all I could to work on this problem.”
Normally, that might be true. But we surrendered this problem to God, remember? We asked Him to handle it. We put Him in the driver’s seat. When we pick that problem back up, we’re grabbing the steering wheel. Playing with the turn signals. Trying to reach the brakes or open the door.
Could YOU drive properly if someone were doing that to you? Isn’t it much easier to handle the car efficiently if your passengers don’t interfere or distract you? A life surrendered to God is a lot like riding that bus we talked about. He is perfectly capable of delivering you safely to your destination. He knows where you’re going, and how to get you there. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
Trust Him. If He needs you to switch seats, He’ll let you know. If things need to slow down, He will apply the brakes. If they need to move faster, He will step on the gas. If you need to change directions, He will make the correct turns. In fact, He will tell you about ANY changes to the plan . . . IF you TRUST Him!
Matthew 6, verse 8 tells us to “. . . cast all your cares upon him; for he careth for you.” Simple. Straight forward. Concise. If you’ve asked the Lord to come into, or take over your life, stick with that. If you’ve asked Him to take over a problem, LET IT GO! Remember that you’ve made that request. TRUST HIM. Let Him drive your bus.
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To His Glory . . . BJ
SURRENDER​
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Because I am easily distracted, I try to keep things in my life fairly organized. Certain things belong in certain places, and I feel disoriented when they aren’t there. With some things – kitchen utensils, coffee mugs, and my refrigerator magnets – I’m nearly obsessive about their locations. This trend helps keep me focused and keeps the distractions to a minimum. Unfortunately, it also tends to make me resistant to changing the way I do things. If everything stays the way it’s always been, I have nothing new to adjust to, and that’s usually fine with me.
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Oddly enough, there are some changes I adapt to very well. A last minute change in plans rarely upsets me much. For instance: an unexpected car repair that requires me to adjust some other aspect of the budget in order to accommodate that repair; or a guest we’re expecting has to cancel at the last minute. In these types of situations, I bend with the breeze fairly well. They don’t really ruffle my feathers too much.
Other things in my life tell a much different story, however. A certain friend or relative develops a pattern of stopping by to visit and have coffee on a fairly regular basis. Perhaps she’s begun to regularly turn to me for advice on various issues in her life. I get used to that connection. I count on it. If something happens to interrupt the relationship, I’m thrown completely off-balance. It can take weeks for me to adjust to the loss of that relationship.
My relationship with my older sister was a perfect example of this. For many years, we talked on the phone every couple of weeks or so. Our conversations rarely lasted less than an hour, and we talked about everything. She never, ever made me feel judged or criticized, and she was always honest and straight-forward with me. I truly treasured that about her . . . it made her one of my very best friends. When her health put her in a situation where we couldn’t talk as often I felt an incredible interruption in our connection. Consequently, I had a great deal of difficulty focusing on anything . . . and I cried frequently.
Do you sense the control freak emerging? I do. I’ve come to recognize that about myself in many aspects of my life. As I’ve worked on my relationship with God over the years, I’ve been made aware of that character flaw more and more. I struggled through many challenges when I learned that I would have to surrender control of my life to God. Eventually, that has become easier for me . . . once I accepted that I wasn’t the one making up all the rules. I guess I thought that would be the last of it: get comfortable giving control to God and you’re good to go. Not true.
Recently, some unexpected (AND uninvited by my inner control freak!) changes in my life have revealed something disturbing. Well, okay, it’s only disturbing when you operate under the delusion that you have control over the way things are done in your world! What was this startling discovery? I’ve begun to recognize that every day – sometimes several times a day – there is something else that I need to hand over to God . . .
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- When I couldn’t reach my sister on the phone for several days, I needed to give Him my FEAR.
- When I became frequently offended by stupid, little things, I needed to give Him my OFFENSE.
- When I would imagine what life might be like without my sister in it, I needed to offer Him my SORROW, my WORRY, and my SELFISHNESS.
- When I obsess over past mistakes and regrets, I need to offer Him my GUILT AND ANXIETY, and
- When some unfair situation upsets me and completely takes over my thoughts, I need to give Him my ANGER.
All of these insidious emotions threaten the most wondrous thing about surrendering to God: my JOY. Through His magnificent Holy Spirit, the Lord can fill my every moment with nearly unspeakable JOY. But, when I allow ANY of those negative thoughts to occupy my mind, that amazing joy vanishes in the wink of an eye. When that happens, the pain and sorrow are overwhelming.
Fortunately, I now know there is only one way to cure this devastating scenario . . . turn it ALL over to God. When the enemy grabs hold and traps me in that tangled web of negative thoughts and emotions, I can run to my Father. In the protective shelter of His Loving arms, I can cry all the tears and express all the fears and worries. In that humble state, I can ask Him to take them all away . . . to replace them with His Peace. And He does.
So long as I genuinely surrender those inner demons to God, He WILL lift them away. And, when I don’t FEEL sincere about that surrender, I need only be WILLING to be, and He will do the rest. Many times, I’ve cried to Him desperately, “Father, I truly DO want to let go of this, but I’m SO afraid! Father, PLEASE lift this burden from me!”
Every time, He is true to the promise I read in Isaiah 41:10:
“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed, for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee;
yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
The enemy is determined to tear us away from God by any means he can. Learn to recognize his interference in your life. Notice the ways in which he tries to steal your joy. That joy represents the power of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The light of that power is beyond compare, and the enemy does not want us to stay there. He wants us in his camp, not God’s. But you don’t have to fight him alone. Whenever you’re battling negative thoughts and emotions, RUN! Run straight into the arms of your Heavenly Father and share them all with Him. Hand them over. Surrender them ALL to Him, and let Him restore Peace and Joy to your life.
To His Glory . . . BJ
THANK OUR VETERANS . . . AND MORE​
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Most of us know at least one person who served in the military. Either we’re related to them, work with them, or go to church with them. Or, maybe we’ve seen them in that corner booth at our favorite restaurant. Whatever the case is, we know they are there.
But, let me ask you a question: have you ever sat and talked to the veteran you know? I mean, REALLY talked. Not about the weather, the boss, the sermon, or who’s going to win Monday night’s game. Have you ever talked to a veteran about his (or her) time in the military?
Have you allowed yourself the privilege of learning what their life was like? Yes, I said ‘privilege’. Each and every civilian in this country owes it to themselves to learn. They owe it to their family, their community, and this country. Why? Because it will change your outlook – forever.
You see, military service is not just another job; not just a steady paycheck with good benefits. It is a series of sacrifices and changes that can be found no where else in our society. For the service member, the sacrifice starts with being isolated from your family and ALL of your usual activities. Your daily routine is shared with a bunch of other guys (or gals) who have also signed up to serve.
You eat with them; sleep with them; work with them; exercise and study with them every single day. If called into combat, you fight beside them – trusting them to have your back, no matter what. On the rare occasion you get a little time off, you also go out to relax with that same bunch of people. They become your whole world.
At the same time, your family is at the back of your mind – every single day. They are at home: holding down the fort; taking care of business; and looking after the kids, the house, the yard, the car – everything. And they’re doing it without their spouse at their side. Many learn to become involved with the other spouses on the base. It is how they all survive the isolation from their spouses.
There is a different kind of camaraderie in the military. A different kind of relationship. It is unlike anything we experience in the civilian world. It is necessary to the survival of that soldier, sailor, airman, or marine. It is necessary to the survival of his (or her) family. And, it changes a person. Permanently. You may see those changes, and be puzzled by them.
“When I got out, my mother said I was never the same,” Alan told me. “The once happy, smiling kid would never return. I became introverted.”
Keith’s comments amplified the changes Alan mentioned: “I guarantee you: there are things they won’t tell you. They won’t tell you everything about what they went through . . . or what they did. Either they won’t . . . or they can’t.”
Their experiences change their viewpoints – and their priorities. Ask any veteran what’s really important in life and patriotism tops his list. Most believe that every person should stand ready to serve this country – in some way. There are countless ways to serve, besides joining the military. The Peace Corps, for instance. A veteran will tell you to find a way to honor and serve your country.
One thing is certain: these men and women believe in this country. They love it, and are proud to have done their turn to defend it. They took their oath seriously: “. . . that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; . . . So help me God. “ Most would proudly serve again.
Just as certain is one plain and simple truth, which Keith shared with me: “Most civilians have no idea how most military people think!” That is a true statement. I was a military spouse for 26 years, and I can confirm: the military mindset is very different from the civilian one. Each citizen of this great country needs to become acquainted with that difference.
This Veterans Day, take the time to thank a veteran – sincerely – for his or her service to your country. But don’t stop there. Sit down and REALLY talk to them. Learn who they are, how they think, and what makes them tick. You’ll be glad you did.
I extend my most profound thanks to every veteran, and every family member who kept the home fires burning for those veterans. Thanks to your incredible sacrifices, I have the freedom to write this article and express my opinions . . . without any fear of repercussion from my government. I thank you all, from the bottom of my heart. May God bless and protect you all.
To His Glory . . . BJ
DARKNESS OR LIGHT? IT'S TIME TO CHOOSE
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Last year, I found myself taking more and more notice of darkness. Not the physical kind that awaits us at the end of the day . . . the kind that looms over one’s life emotionally. It seemed like many people I know were trapped in that sad mindset that sees only the shadows in their lives.
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Admittedly, those shadows are all around us. They take the form of a child struggling with addictions or hanging out with the wrong crowd. Financial burdens, the loss of a loved one, an old hurt that still torments the mind, a lie that someone has told about us – many things cast shadows into our daily lives. If we aren’t careful, these shadows can affect our vision. Look at them too intensely, and they become all we can see. Before long, we can’t see any light or goodness at all. Such was the case with a woman who’s been a cherished friend for over 30 years.
A single mom since 1997, she’s raised three sons on her own. Two of them are now grown men, with wives and families of their own. The youngest is a high school senior with a promising future. Or, so we thought . . .
Recently, “Dana” told me her youngest has become involved with drugs. He’s not longer wrestling on his high school team – which has been his passion for years. He has resumed a relationship with a young woman whom he had previously decided was bad for him. This trend could destroy his dream of going into the Marines after graduation. Needless to say, his mother’s heart is broken over this.
For me, the saddest part was hearing the total despair in Dana’s heart as she told me about these changes. She could only see those things that have gone wrong in the last 17 years. The horrible abuse that caused her to leave her marriage in the first place. The awful, hurtful things her ex-husband said to her over and over again. The years of financial struggle. The problems she had with her two older sons when they were teenagers. The list went on and on.
Try though I might, I was unable to help her see the other side of things. The love and compassion she has shown her sons for 17 years. The fact that she’s managed to make a home for all of them all on her own. The rewarding job at which she is so good. The solid foundation she gave her sons. The pain and abuse she protected them from.
The truth is, a shadow cannot exist without light. Some sort of light source must be present in order to cast a shadow. For Dana, there’ve been many light sources: her older sons have productive, happy lives; her kids love her and appreciate what she does for them; her younger brothers adore her; and she was recently named employee of the year at work. She’s talented and creative. She is good at her job, reliable, and loved by her clients.
Dana has never lost sight of her priorities; never lapsed into that temptation to focus her attentions only on herself. For 17 years, she has made sure that those boys knew that she loved them, and would do all she could to provide for them and protect them from harm.
Despite all these positive things, Dana sees only the shadows. Only her shortfalls and mistakes. Only what’s wrong in her world. How often do WE do that? How often do we allow disappointment and sorrow to take hold and consume us? How often do we look so hard at the shadows that we can’t see any light at all?
We’ve all done it, at one time or another. In that state, we forget a critical fact: total darkness isn’t possible in our everyday world. Oh, sure, you can find it in the depths of a cave, but not where we live every day. If we take the time, and put forth the effort, to REALLY look, we would find the light source. Even on the darkest night, the stars lend light to our world. When those stars are covered by clouds, those clouds reflect the city lights below them. Somewhere, just outside the shadows you see, there is light.
God Himself SPOKE that light into being when He created this Earth. Genesis 1, verse 2, tells us, “And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.” When God created light, He obliterated that void. Things had form, and the darkness was gone. Genesis 1, verses 3-4, tell us, “And God said, Let there be light, and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.” That act changed everything for this world, for all time.
Today, the Lord is the source of all light in our lives. Every day, he stands ready to show us the way. Just beyond all those shadows you see, He waits for us. He wants to show us all the beauty and joy that await us in the Light.
If your life seems filled with darkness and shadows, turn around. Start looking in other directions. The light source that cast that shadow is there somewhere. LOOK for it until you find it. Once you locate it, focus on it, walk toward it. Within the warmth of that Light are peace, comfort, and protection. They can help you cope with the shadows. Seek them out . . .
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To His Glory . . . BJ
TRUST
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In the movie “Courageous”, there’s a scene where a man is talking to his pastor about trusting God. The pastor is explaining that, if he will trust in God, He will walk with the man through the hard times. The man responds, “I want to trust Him, but I don’t understand what He’s doing.”
Watching that scene, my mind had a response to what the man had said. “That’s what trust IS,” I thought, “following and obeying even when I don’t understand.” More accurately, it is following and obeying Him ESPECIALLY when I don’t understand.
When a young man or woman joins the military, they go to boot camp. While there, they spend 8-12 weeks (depending on which branch they join) going through things that seem designed to break their spirit. Once that’s done, they are rebuilt by their superiors to a military standard of behavior. At times, it seems harsh and brutal – unnecessary to most who see it or hear about it.
But this process serves a valuable purpose for every one of those recruits. If and when the day comes when their unit is called into combat, they must be prepared to obey their superiors. Even when they don’t understand what that superior is doing, following and obeying him greatly increases their chances of surviving combat.
God’s Guidance in our lives works in much the same way. While He does not CAUSE the troubles that come our way, He promises to be with us through them. When we choose a walk with Jesus, He promises to carry us through those troubles. We need only turn to Him and lean on Him for that Help to be there.
Proverbs 3:5 tells us “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not on thine own understanding.” The promise of that command follows, in verse 6: “In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”
The message in these verses seems simple. He’s asking us to trust Him, no matter what – even when what’s happening makes no sense to us. In return, He will guide us every step of the way. And He doesn’t stop there. In Romans 8, we are told that ALL things work together for good to them that love God (v. 28).
If we hang on, if we keep trusting God, EVERYTHING that happens will be used for His purpose. I have seen this many times in my own life, and it has led me to a place where I have drawn one vital conclusion.
No matter what is going on . . . no matter how weird or frightening or disappointing or confusing it is, I know – beyond the shadow of ANY doubt – that Got is there. So long as I trust Him, I will get through.
Not only that, I’ve discovered something fascinating. When I trust God, the weirdness doesn’t puzzle me. The scary parts don’t make me want to run and hide. The disappointments don’t break my heart. And the confusion doesn’t completely scramble my brain.
As time goes on, I am learning why that is so . . . because He sends His Holy Spirit to fill me with a peace about these things. Knowing that, and reminding myself of it every single day, makes trust a lot easier. My hope – for each of us – is that we will continue to trust God, especially when we don’t understand what He’s doing.
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To His Glory . . . BJ
“BEHOLD, HIS MIGHTY HAND!”
When I was growing up, my brother and I would sit down with Mama and watch C.B. DeMille’s “The Ten Commandments” every time it came on T.V. Charlton Heston did a stellar job of portraying the humble, uncertain-but-chosen Moses. One of my favorite lines is spoken as he stands on the shore of the Red Sea, with the Egyptians in hot pursuit. Taking his cue from God, he lifts his staff high in the air. Above the cries of panic from the people he’s leading, we hear him speak.
“Behold, His Mighty Hand!!!” he cries at the top of his voice. As the people watch in astonishment, Moses keeps the staff raised while the sea begins to part.
Why is THIS my favorite line in that epic saga? Because I hear it in my mind frequently. Whenever I gaze at the rock formations surrounding Mt. Rushmore. When I see pine trees seeming to grow out of a granite upthrust. When I wander through a crystal cave, admiring the various formations. Driving through the Badlands, or over the magnificent Rocky Mountains. When I ride with Rich over Ten Sleep Pass in Wyoming. Yellowstone National Park, Glacier Park, Utah’s Canyonlands, the New England coast. Sunrises, sunsets, the trees after a rain, a fresh blanket of snow . . . the list goes on and on.
Seeing these amazing sights always takes my breath away. Whenever I stop to really notice them, I hear the “whoosh!” of air as I suck in an awestricken breath. At that moment, I am frozen in place . . . I cannot move; I cannot look away. My gaze is fixed upon that thing that caught my attention in the first place. I can feel my face warm as it stretches into a reverent, admiring smile. In a state of pure wonder, I hear myself whispering breathlessly, “It’s BEAUTIFUL, Father! Thank You!” And every single time that happens, I hear Moses’ words again: “Behold His Mighty Hand!”
In this age of rapidly-changing technological and scientific advancements, mankind is – most decidedly – achieving amazing things. There are countless talented, creative, brilliant people in this world. All of them make spectacular contributions to our lives in one way or another. Without question, modern man is very clever indeed.
But no matter how clever we think we are, there are limits. Even if all of us worked at it together, using all of our combined gifts and talents, our efforts would fall miserably short of Creation itself. All of our creativity combined can’t come close to what God has Created with a mere wave of His mighty Hand. Everything He’s made surpasses everything we can do . . . and it defies satisfactory description.
Genesis 1:1 tells us: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.”
Slow down and take the time to look at what He’s done. Once a day, stop your
busy-ness. Take a moment to REALLY notice some awe-inspiring, breathtaking sight that was simply SPOKEN into existence by our Creator. Take a mental note of Who made it, and allow yourself to “Behold His Mighty Hand!” Be grateful for who you are and what you can do . . . but never fail to be humbled by what He can do. It will be well worth your time . . . and the Lord can use your sense of wonder to inspire others to notice Who He is.
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To His Glory . . . BJ
CONTROL​
Recent events in our family have provided me multiple opportunities to reflect on the subject of control. More accurately, they’ve been opportunities for me to realize how much control I don’t have. Watching my adult children struggle with choices they’ve made in their lives has shown me that – in vivid Technicolor!
As I’ve been forced to step back and let them walk their own paths, my focus has turned inward. Taking more time to look at my own life, I’ve discovered a startling truth: I am a major control freak. This realization has not come all at once. It’s shown itself in small doses – through little, everyday things.
Hanging my kitchen utensils only on certain hooks – and feeling totally disoriented when they aren’t where I want them. Making sure each coffee cup hangs in a specific place on the wall. Putting canned goods away and catching myself turning all the labels in the same direction. Setting out clean bath towels and noticing that I obsessively place the folds so they all point the same direction. They’re all little things, but they made me take notice.
The more I noticed, the more I saw. I began to see this obsession spilling over into other areas of my life: budget matters; time with Richard; when and how the yard work is done. How I think others should react to things. That made me wonder: how many times do I inadvertently try to dictate policy to God?
How Rich spends his free time when he’s home, how much of that home time is in one continuous block, wanting other people to respond the way I would respond, or to do things the same way I would do them. Even what time someone else gets up in the morning: wanting them to get up when I was ready to take a break and enjoy their company. The horrible, shameful truth is I try to control virtually every aspect of my day-to-day life. This was not a fact that I was proud of, and I knew it required some attention.
I began using my morning prayer time to discuss these issues with God. Crying, I listened as hard as I could for His Guidance. I desperately wanted to understand the lessons He was trying to teach me. To comprehend His Will for my life. Where did He want me doing something? When did He prefer I sit back and let go of my concerns and desires? My efforts to answer these questions through my time with God continued for quite a while.
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Then, in early July, a light suddenly went on in my mind. All the family turmoil of the last two years presented an opportunity. The myriad of everyday little things I’d begun noticing at home served a purpose. At least, they would if I would allow them to. They were meant to help me learn to let go of my need for control and trust God to work. To let Him fight the battles that I couldn’t fight. He would do the work, and I was to simply be available. If there was something He wanted me to do, He’d let me know.
Of course, sitting and waiting is a very difficult task when the turmoil is right under your nose every day. It’s so easy to lapse into that mindset that wants to find a way to fix things or make them happen faster. To make people see things the way you see them. To figure out a way to stop them from doing the self-destructive things that you see them doing. Not being able to influence those situations causes an extraordinary amount of anxiety and stress.
My challenge in this has been in learning to rejoice in what there IS for me to do in any given situation. Most often, I’m asked to be a sounding board . . . or to allow our home to be used as a safe place for difficult encounters to happen. We’re also asked to let visitations take place here. These are all wonderful, useful services to provide. It has been very hard for me to accept that doing them is enough. That they are the perfect effort for me to put forth.
Proverbs 16:20 tells us: “He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he.”
I was discussing this struggle with a dear friend over lunch recently. She reminded me of a very famous saying: “They also serve who only stand and wait.” (author unknown).
I pray that I will become ever more comfortable serving in that capacity. That it will become increasingly easier for me to stand and wait – to trust God to do the work that I cannot. May I stop seeing that as a limited, useless effort . . . and remember that EVERYTHING we do for Him is important – even simply “being there”. Just because I can’t see its purpose doesn’t mean it doesn’t have one.
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To His Glory . . . BJ
STILL, SMALL VOICE
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When I was a child, my mother worked hard to teach us right from wrong. As I grew older, I came to recognize the “voice” that I knew as conscience. When Mama wasn’t around, it reminded me what I should or shouldn’t do. By the time I married and moved out of Mama’s house, I had a good, strong conscience. I diligently worked to avoid wrong choices and behaviors. I didn’t like the way it felt when I chose badly – the lump in my throat, the knot in my stomach. They weren’t worth it. I tried to live my life as if Mom was watching, trying to always do those things that wouldn’t upset her if she know about them.
For a long time, that’s where I thought the “voice” of my conscience came from – my mother. It didn’t matter, really. I figured that, as long as I listened to it, I’d be fine. And – for myself – I did pretty well most of the time. What really surprised me, though, was how often that voice in my head complained when my husband made wrong choices.
Whenever Steve lied to someone or drank too much, I would feel that same knot in the pit of my stomach. Any time he did something that I’d been taught was wrong, my body reacted in the same way it did when I did something wrong.
In my late 30s, I began making a deliberate effort to develop a relationship with God. I’d always believed. I’d accepted Christ as my savior when I was about 10 or 11. I knew how to pray and did so daily. But I’d never had the sense that my “conversations” with God were a two-way street. It was more Like I talked, and tried to believe He’d heard me. I had never learned how to tell for sure if He had. I wanted to change that.
The creek on our property provided the perfect classroom. Sitting near its banks, listening to the water sing over the rocks, I began to notice a change. I would talk out loud to God, then sit quietly to listen and wait. There it was! That same still, small voice I’d heard most of my life. Finally, I understood. The voice of my “conscience” may have been nurtured and trained by my mother, but she wasn’t the source. God was.
Looking back over my life, I can see many times when that Voice tried to guide my actions. One incident that stands out most clearly came in July, 1981. In a state of despair and desperate sorrow, I stood at the top of an 80-foot granite cliff on the coast of Maine. As I considered stepping off the edge, that Voice was there.
This time, it repeated the words I’d heard from the man I loved. When he’d found out I was trying to hurt myself one day, he looked at me with tears in his eyes. “Lady, don’t you DARE bail out on me! I NEED you!”
When that still, small Voice whispered those words in my mind, I froze. I gripped the top rail of the fence tightly and just stood there. Critical tidbits of wisdom where whispered in my mind until I finally stepped back from the edge of that cliff.
Ever since that day, I’ve worked hard to learn to listen for that Voice and understand what it was telling me. Often, it speaks in very brief, very soft phrases. Usually, they are “felt” more than “heard”. “Run this errand first.” “Call your sister (or someone else).” “Look here . . .” Tiny little nudges every day, designed to steer my journey through this life.
Isaiah 55:3 tells us: “Incline your ear, and come unto me: hear, and your soul shall live.” Whenever I listen, and follow the Guidance I hear, I’m always glad I did. When I ignore it and go my own way, I usually regret it in a short amount of time. Learning to take a brief pause to really notice what that Voice is saying has been an ongoing process. I still practice every day, and I’m still learning. There is joy in that process.
Today, I have a clear understanding of Whose Voice I’m hearing. Not my mom. Not simply conscience. It is the still, small Voice of my Father. Because I’ve accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, God uses the power of the Holy Spirit to speak to my heart and Guide my life. Every day, in a thousand tiny ways, His Guidance whispers its way into my heart and mind. Now that I understand that, I find myself listening for that Voice even harder. I don’t want to make any decisions without Him. As a result, I’m happier and more at peace than ever.
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To His Glory . . . BJ
INTRODUCTION TO "WINGS OF HOPE"
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In the early 1990s, while I was working with battered women, a name came to my mind. “Wings of Hope” sounded like a good name to give our support group. I kept the thought to myself while I tried to come up with an acronym for the letters to represent. I never came up with one, so the group was never given that name. Not able to let go of the idea, I kept all my notes and put them away.
Years later I started college, working on a Sociology degree. I planned on opening my own counseling center one day. Again, the old name popped into my mind: it would make a great name for my counseling center. Apparently, this was also something that was not meant to be. About halfway through school, I felt the Lord leading me in a different direction than I’d originally planned. I would not be opening a counseling center, after all.
Again, I found myself unable to completely abandon the name that kept popping into my head every now and then. For reasons I didn’t understand, I was still drawn to it. I knew that, someday, God would show me what “Wings of Hope” was going to be used for. So, I put all my notes away in a file and waited. It would come, in God’s time.
A profound experience at a women’s retreat, in 2012, left me with the clear sensation of the Lord setting my feet down firmly on a new path in my life. Excited, and anxious to learn the specifics, I worked hard at listening closely for His direction and guidance. I soon felt myself being drawn into some sort of ministry, even though I still had no details. Having an idea where He was Leading me, my excitement tangled itself with impatience. I could hardly wait to find out where we were going.
Meanwhile, my life brought many new opportunities for me to learn how to let go of my worries and concerns . . . to stop trying to fix things and let God do His work. Through a series of family dramas, He was teaching me to let Him handle ALL the things I couldn’t change or influence. For nearly two years, those opportunities kept coming, waiting for me to get a clue.
Finally, in the Spring of 2014, He Showed me another piece of the puzzle. A string of articles for the Hill City Gathering Place web site and the Little White Church newsletter spawned a new idea. A regular monthly column on the Gathering Place web site. It’s name? “Wings of Hope”.
FINALLY! A place to use the name I’d carried around for over two decades! I was excited and thrilled! This time, the words in the acronym came effortlessly: “When I Need God’s Support, He Offers Perfect Encouragement”. I presented the idea to Jack and Mary, and they loved it! So, that became its first home. Today, I am honored to launch “Wings of Hope” as a part of this web site.
Psalm 91:4 promises us shelter beneath God’s wings. Therefore, I’ve chosen that verse as the Scripture reference connected to the title of this column. Many times in my life, I have seen this promise at work in difficult, painful, even terrifying situations. I’ve also seen it in times of unspeakable joy. He has made His presence known to me more times than I could count. To His Honor and Glory, I dedicate this column.
Here, we will share a journey of how God applies His Truth to EVERYTHING in our lives. Allow me to clarify something, here. Many times – in the body of a particular article – I may mention God’s name only. However, I am perfectly aware that He does not act alone in the ways He works in my life. His influence in our lives has been made possible by the tremendous sacrifice that Jesus made for all of mankind. Together, they use the Power of the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts and minds with a multitude of emotions and thoughts. Even if I don’t mention them all in the story I’m telling, I know they are ALL a part of it. In this column, we will look at the role they play in everyday life.
Thank you for being here. It is my prayer that the Lord will use this column to help you recognize and welcome His presence in your everyday life. Please join me every month as we explore the amazing love, insight, peace, safety, comfort and trust that can be found under His precious “Wings of Hope”.
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To His Glory . . . BJ